My hour with Fr. Tom was at once most precious and most difficult. I held his hand, talked to him, read to him from the Bible, and prayed with him. I know that he heard me because he smiled a couple of times, mainly at my silliness. Everything, and I mean everything, came pouring out of my heart. And then I told him of anything else that came to my mind. I shared stores of the past with him and re-told him stories that he had shared with me.
Interspersed throughout our conversation was prayer.
We prayed the "novena" to Bl. Teresa. And we prayed the rosary together. The same rosary that he had blessed for me. The same rosary that my Aunt's best friend had prayed with her before she died. The same rosary that contains the history and love of generations gone before me. I prayed that same rosary with my dear Fr. Tom. As I held his hand in one of my hands and my rosary in the other, I uttered the words, "Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen." Tears streamed down my cheeks, and my voice broke, but I knew that Mother Mary was right in that room, praying with us, holding Fr. Tom in her ever-loving embrace. The Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary will forever be my special Fr. Tom-prayer!
I am heartbroken at having said good-bye to my dear priest, spiritual adviser, and friend. (He was - and still is - in many ways my "Seattle Dad", even offering to bail me out of jail, should I ever need it. Thankfully, I didn't!) More than heartbroken, I find myself awash in emotions: I am sad, yes. But angry and confused, too. Fr. Tom's death brings back the memories and tears from my childhood. Saying good-bye to one father is bad enough. Saying good-bye to two seems unusually cruel and unfair. And oddly, I feel happy, too. Happy for Fr. Tom that he is no longer suffering. Happy that Fr. Tom has now partaken in that beautiful reunion on High that he had been so eagerly anticipating. Reflecting on this, I find myself consoled in knowing that Fr. Tom is now at peace living in eternal glory with our Lord and Saviour. While we, on earth, are left weeping, he is in heaven rejoicing in delight with our Lord and with his Blessed Mother.
Yesterday, we read Psalm 18 together:
I love thee, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
In my distress I called upon the LORD;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.
Yea, thou dost light my lamp;
the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
This God -- his way is perfect;
the promise of the LORD proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.
For who is God, but the LORD?
And who is a rock, except our God? --
the God who girded me with strength,
and made my way safe.
Rest in peace, Fr. Tom. You are now with our Lord, our Rock and our Strength.
4 comments:
I'm sorry for the loss of such a kind and loving part of your life. I bid you peace at this delicate time. With enormous, gigantic love,
Stephanie.
Oh Lara. I'm so sad for you and the Fr. Tom hole that is left in your life! From your writing you can tell how much you were blessed by having him in your life. What a gift! It is a encouraging thought, though, to know that he is now rejoicing with Jesus whom he dedicated his life's work too!
It's a lot to lose two fathers. I can only empathise, because in the truest sense, I never really had a father. I can relate to you only by looking at the wound I suffered when separated from my twin brother. The closeness I felt to him is experienced by few people in this world, and separating from him has scarred me in ways that few can understand. But I am truly grateful for that experience, in spite of the wound. The experience of that love gives me a deep sense of my need for an eternal and infinite love that can only be found in God himself. This rarely feels like a strength, but I believe it is. God bless you.
May our Mother Mary console you and Fr. Tom intercede for you.I didn't know him but from the little I've read about him he sounds like everything a good priest should be.
God Bless!
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